© 2017 by Bec McGregor

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My Biggest Fear, The C Word!

September 26, 2017

Dog Quote: ‘Love is a four legged word’

 

Word of the week: Treats; an event or item that is of the ordinary. “he wanted to give his dog a treat for doing the trick”. Synonyms: celebration, diversion, entertainment.

 

Get your mind out of the gutter... good, keep it out this is a family blog! This is probably not your typical fear but it is a fear to me nonetheless. Yes I fed it and now it’s time to shed it! The C Word is.......... Computer!

Yes the computer, it’s taken me the better part of 25 years to finally come to terms with having to use a computer on a daily basis, instead of when I felt like it, now I have to do something about it. No I haven’t been hiding under a rock or using homing pigeons to communicate with! I have somehow slowly tapped away typing my University assignments; that was the late 90’s and computers were just kicking off as a household item, (excuse!). Oh and for all my overseas friends, yes it was slack of me to email once in a blue moon but you knew that the email most probably meant I was flying over to see you!

 

I found every job I could that did not involve a computer: Interior Styling and Curtain Making, Bar Attendant, Swimming Instructor, Zoo Keeper and Camp Activities Officer, to name a few. Although I did enjoy my time as an Outside School Hours Co-coordinator, which did involve a bit of computer work, but the upside for me was having children, parents and staff interrupting every 10 minutes or so, so that I didn’t have to be sitting at the computer desk for too long at one time.

 

I’m not sure why but my whole body would tense up at the thought of having to use a computer for a considerable amount of time. I really get nervous and anxious when I know people are watching me as I try my best to type. Then I get given advice on how to improve and where each finger should go, “Too late mate, I’m over telling my fingers where they should be just because you think I’m awkward when I type, go look at something else!”. Oh and don’t watch me chop things either while we’re at it, it must equate to fingers down chalk boards because I get similar reactions, I still have all of my fingers people!

 

My eyes flicker as I stare at the screen, then ache after a while and pulsate, bazaar feeling, when I try and close my eyes afterwards. Argh what’s going on? How do people sit behind a screen all day? I had to get glasses at University to help me get through some of the long assignment writing but why would I want to wear glasses and put up with sore eyes every day when there are plenty of other better things to look at?

 

Now with so many options to explore and people to connect with it’s hard to remain lagging behind with my stumpy fingers and sore eyes. I have struggled to change my mind set after such a long time of ignoring the obvious, I may still need days away from the screen at times but for now I’m content to move forward and find some classroom based courses to improve on the skills I have so far and be patient with myself as I grow to at least like computers today and grow to embrace them in the future. I will also have to accept that in five years’ time my face may have aged significantly (children may come along too and contribute to my faces aging process) from my new found existence online so I’m going to keep track of how my face is holding up every now and then to see the effects.

 

There, now everyone knows, but not many of you know me. Over the coming weeks as you join me again you’ll be able to read little snippets of my home life growing in the burbs of North Brisbane in the 80’s – 90’s and more.

 

What would be your biggest fear?

 

Thank you for reading, Join me next time,

 

xox Bec Mc

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